"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus


I dream vividly.

Two nights ago I dreamt that Nate and I were enjoying wave watching from the tower of a lighthouse just like this. All of a sudden the ocean changed and the waves came crashing over the top filling the lantern room with saltwater. In between the crashes of the waves we tried to scurry back to safety but found that we were trapped. As I watched the next impending wave I looked at my love, reached for his hand and screamed: "hold your breath!" Moments later we were submerged. I wasn't particularly scared, as my body kicked into survival mode. I have found in personal experience, and in research, that fear lies in the anticipation, or in the hindsight, of an actual near death moment. Many people report that the times like these are often deeply clear and calm. 

Anyway, in the dream, I remember thinking, "If we get out of this alive, we will never look back. Isn't this so beautiful?"

It was an odd thought to have right before possible death.

In real life, at that same moment, Nate woke me at 5am with a fully cooked breakfast for two #LuckyGal (no joke, he'd been up since 3a from a work call). I gasped for air, and stumbled my way to the kitchen table, still finding my land legs. 

The message from the dream was clear. Though I don't feel outwardly stressed, Mercury in retrograde has been in full swing in our lives. Our student loans, which can no longer be deferred, are kicking in at a rate that is truly criminal. Nate's beloved piano broke. One car needs an expensive fix, and the other car is on its last leg. In other words, it's just the stressors of daily life happening. . . and that's all just in the last week.

The dream was a reminder to focus on love and to continue to gaze into the distance. To find solace in beautiful places. To not be swept away in the small stressful disturbances of the daily. It is so easy to be overcome with worry. But the act of worrying is a choice.

Frankly, I have never known worry to serve anyone well. Never ever.