Hard to believe, but I am not always sunshine and roses, especially first thing in the morning. Today I was scheduled to work at the hospital but was called out at the bright early hour of 4:45am. The night before had been a late night of teaching, so the call came after only about five hours of sleep (I need a solid 8 to function even moderately well in the world). Immediately after the call, my brain kicked on its itty bitty shitty committee. Illogical thoughts flooded in like, "you were counting on that money, how will you pay bills?" (I always pay my bills) and " you'll never be able to get back to sleep," (I've been timed, I can fall asleep in 13 seconds anywhere) and "there are 25 things I didn't get done yesterday that I needed to get done, I'll do those right now" (there are always 25 things to get done at minimum).
I was being stupid.
As I felt the mounting pressure of a zillion things to do and the stress of life building, I put the brakes on and simply decided to take a deep breath. In that moment I realized that I had choice about my day, I could either be a stress case all day, or I could reframe the picture and choose to see this unexpected day off as a gift.
I chose the gift. With the whole day now open, I asked myself what was it that I wanted to do, as opposed to needed to do. The first thing to come up was the first thing that always comes up - go to the ocean. Despite being a gray, rainy, cold New England morning, I bundled up and piled my sleepy self into the car to go watch the sunrise on my favorite spot on Plum Island. As the pink of sunrise tried to peek out from the rushing grey clouds it bathed everything around me in a soft illuminating light. Not a soul was on the beach, there weren't even footprints in the sand.
As I sat with the light rain hitting my face, and the coffee steaming in my hands I thought - THIS IS MAGIC.